Mommy's in the Picture

I read a blog post from a Mom of 4 kids I believe, and she talked about how she wanted her kids to see her in the photos and memories created. When they're older, they will have something to look back on and remember their Mom. She mentioned specifically how a child's view of their Mom doesn't revolve around what they looked like on that particular day, how thin or fat, how fancy the hair, or what they wore. More, a child's memory might be the feeling they have when they're with them; how their Mom made them feel. I know my memories of my Mom all feel...well...they feel like "home". "Home is where your Mom is" I read once. 

Now a Mom of two, I'm rarely showered before 2:00 and still have a little baby weight to lose, I've gained a few more wrinkles and dark circles under my eyes, wearing make-up & jewelry, and sleeping are all considered luxuries, but I've decided to make a conscious effort to be in a few more photos if possible. I want them to see how much they are loved. How much their Mom loves them to pieces! I am everywhere in their little lives, but with almost no proof of it. Usually I'm the one behind the camera, and the smiles I get from my girls are based off of my efforts "off screen" (tickling, chasing, surprising...some pictures take MUCH more effort than others). And there are so many things that people don't see: The sleepless nights. The days I can't shower. The worry about a runny nose, a cut. The fear that they'll be scared, hurt, or humiliated one day, and not be able to protect them from that. The planning and thought that goes into a birthday party, a Christmas gift, or even a snack. Crying on their first birthday, or when they spend the night away from me. Rushing home from work worrying that I'm too late and missing them like crazy...everyday.

Some memories I will just never be able to capture with me in them...nursing pictures are a good example, but those are some of the most special moments I have had with my girls. Giving them baths, me brushing their hair, them brushing my hair, reading them bedtime stories, laying in the dark singing to them before bed, smelling their freshly shampooed hair...

So here's a collection of some photos. Some old, some new, some fat and pregnant, some without make-up, all in random order...many are with Lucy just because they're old, but my hope is that I'll try to be better about getting in the picture from now on.